**beware of mad long thought vomit**
hmmm where to start.
the past two weeks have been.. very... interesting, for the lack of a better term
alrite, let's start off with the week of march 12th.. aka march break for the highschoolers (which, for the first time, no longer includes me :( ). For the past few years of my life, i've been participating / serving at Teens Conference, basically a conference for high school students during the march break that also poses as an opportunity to connect with Christians around them as well as an opportunity to bring people who have not heard of Christ, to experience Him. Well, last year, i was serving as a part of media, so this year, me and a few friends who's been serving there for years on end, were feeling mighty nostalgic and decided to see how the respective teams were doing this year...
So on thursday we trekked to t3c, entered those oh so familiar doors, greeted all the organizers and people, just a year ago, had been guiding us as we prepared to go on stage with the message that God has instilled in our hearts, and together we walked up to the balcony, where the visitors and the AV team sit, and there we sat for evening session.
As i sat there, i looked around. To see all the kids from all the teams... media, sycamore aka sr worship, jr worship team and people from AV. Waves of nostalgia were hit me full force. Just a year ago, we were all a little younger, all a little greener, at the first few pews, exhalting the Name of the Lord. All the teams were mingling with each other, just all ready and excited to serve God. And now, here most of us sit, as university students. Just to sit there and think of all the changes that occured in our lives, how we've all grown so much since then. Looking around at those pews, i just felt so blessed. To be able to be reuinted once again with this family, and a year later, still being able to praise God with these people, all united under the banner of His love and Grace.
Then there were the 400-500 brothers and sisters on the main floor. They were family too, all of us uninhibited, shouting and praising God's name. wow, what a sight. I think that's what fellowship should be, what a community in Christ should be, people gathered together, earnestly seeking, not caring about what the people beside them think, just hungry for more of Jesus. oh myyyyyy what a sight.
---
last week.
was the worst week academically, i've never had so many things due, and at the same time, i was struggling with my nomination. (on the wednesday of the week before i had been invited over by the vice chair of ccf to her place for pie... and was told that i was nominated, but i didn't know what for.) Therefore for an entire week and a half, that had been at the forefront of my mind. lots and lots of prayers were prayed for God to save me from "skule"tm and make my decision for me for nominations.
honestly, when you draw closer to God, God draws closer to you
even in such a short period, i felt that God was so much more prevalent the more you earnestly seek Him. i wish i could be like that all the time... i feel that nowadays my heart is not half as sincere as it should be, half as longing as it should be. I wish that i could be in that place all the time, that place where i bring EVERYTHING back to Jesus. all decisions, all worries, all trials and all happiness. Even with this week, though it's only monday, i feel that there's been less of that, less of that yearning, even though there should be ten times more than last week.
why are my affections so fickle?
i know what it feels like to have God close, why isn't that desire greater?
to earnestly seek, to be humbled before God, to long for more of Him, all the time, and never EVER settling for anything less than Jesus.
that's where i'm gonna try to be.
...to finish off my nomination story
i emailed the vice chair again on thursday night as to what i was actually nominated for.
cuz throughout praying i was drawn to female devotions leader, and i wanted to see if that's what they saw too
it wasn't.
she replied at 2 in the morning, telling me i was nominated for large group coordinator, which was really administrative and really... not where i'm gifted.
so at 3 in the afternoon friday, after talking to my school small group leader, came to the conclusion that i was only even tempted to say yes because i feel that God has bulit me up this year for something more, all the struggles of this year was for something greater, that God does indeed have a plan for me but more of building relationships with people on a personal level, rather than administration. and me thinking about saying yes was jumping the gun. it wasn't the time, this wasn't the position was meant for.
so i called the vice chair again.. told her no.
but at fellowship that night, the social coordinator said "i heard you turned down your nomination"
and as i explained to her why, she asked me if i had a vision for the fellowship, to which i replied yes, and what would i say if i was nominated for female devotions leader. and i said it's not my call...
and on saturday after getting off work i checked my email
and the vice chair sent me an email saying the social coordinator has found someone to nominate and second me before 11:59 friday night.
and if i wanted to, i can run for that
....i said yes.
but we'll see what happens.
it's all God's call
but if you guys would pray for me, that would be great :)
just for protection against satan's attacks, for discernment as to what i'm supposed to say on friday when i have to do a speech, for guidence of the Holy Spirit throughout this week, and for God to work in my life :)
thanks for reading (if you actually read to the end, GOLD STAR FOR YOU!
:D
have a blessed week!
ps. here's one of the two songs that have been running through my head for the past few weeks, in tune with shelby's post about hymns...
I Surrender All
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all,
I surrender all.
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel Thy Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Now I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory to His name!
the past two weeks have been.. very... interesting, for the lack of a better term
alrite, let's start off with the week of march 12th.. aka march break for the highschoolers (which, for the first time, no longer includes me :( ). For the past few years of my life, i've been participating / serving at Teens Conference, basically a conference for high school students during the march break that also poses as an opportunity to connect with Christians around them as well as an opportunity to bring people who have not heard of Christ, to experience Him. Well, last year, i was serving as a part of media, so this year, me and a few friends who's been serving there for years on end, were feeling mighty nostalgic and decided to see how the respective teams were doing this year...
So on thursday we trekked to t3c, entered those oh so familiar doors, greeted all the organizers and people, just a year ago, had been guiding us as we prepared to go on stage with the message that God has instilled in our hearts, and together we walked up to the balcony, where the visitors and the AV team sit, and there we sat for evening session.
As i sat there, i looked around. To see all the kids from all the teams... media, sycamore aka sr worship, jr worship team and people from AV. Waves of nostalgia were hit me full force. Just a year ago, we were all a little younger, all a little greener, at the first few pews, exhalting the Name of the Lord. All the teams were mingling with each other, just all ready and excited to serve God. And now, here most of us sit, as university students. Just to sit there and think of all the changes that occured in our lives, how we've all grown so much since then. Looking around at those pews, i just felt so blessed. To be able to be reuinted once again with this family, and a year later, still being able to praise God with these people, all united under the banner of His love and Grace.
Then there were the 400-500 brothers and sisters on the main floor. They were family too, all of us uninhibited, shouting and praising God's name. wow, what a sight. I think that's what fellowship should be, what a community in Christ should be, people gathered together, earnestly seeking, not caring about what the people beside them think, just hungry for more of Jesus. oh myyyyyy what a sight.
---
last week.
was the worst week academically, i've never had so many things due, and at the same time, i was struggling with my nomination. (on the wednesday of the week before i had been invited over by the vice chair of ccf to her place for pie... and was told that i was nominated, but i didn't know what for.) Therefore for an entire week and a half, that had been at the forefront of my mind. lots and lots of prayers were prayed for God to save me from "skule"tm and make my decision for me for nominations.
honestly, when you draw closer to God, God draws closer to you
even in such a short period, i felt that God was so much more prevalent the more you earnestly seek Him. i wish i could be like that all the time... i feel that nowadays my heart is not half as sincere as it should be, half as longing as it should be. I wish that i could be in that place all the time, that place where i bring EVERYTHING back to Jesus. all decisions, all worries, all trials and all happiness. Even with this week, though it's only monday, i feel that there's been less of that, less of that yearning, even though there should be ten times more than last week.
why are my affections so fickle?
i know what it feels like to have God close, why isn't that desire greater?
to earnestly seek, to be humbled before God, to long for more of Him, all the time, and never EVER settling for anything less than Jesus.
that's where i'm gonna try to be.
...to finish off my nomination story
i emailed the vice chair again on thursday night as to what i was actually nominated for.
cuz throughout praying i was drawn to female devotions leader, and i wanted to see if that's what they saw too
it wasn't.
she replied at 2 in the morning, telling me i was nominated for large group coordinator, which was really administrative and really... not where i'm gifted.
so at 3 in the afternoon friday, after talking to my school small group leader, came to the conclusion that i was only even tempted to say yes because i feel that God has bulit me up this year for something more, all the struggles of this year was for something greater, that God does indeed have a plan for me but more of building relationships with people on a personal level, rather than administration. and me thinking about saying yes was jumping the gun. it wasn't the time, this wasn't the position was meant for.
so i called the vice chair again.. told her no.
but at fellowship that night, the social coordinator said "i heard you turned down your nomination"
and as i explained to her why, she asked me if i had a vision for the fellowship, to which i replied yes, and what would i say if i was nominated for female devotions leader. and i said it's not my call...
and on saturday after getting off work i checked my email
and the vice chair sent me an email saying the social coordinator has found someone to nominate and second me before 11:59 friday night.
and if i wanted to, i can run for that
....i said yes.
but we'll see what happens.
it's all God's call
but if you guys would pray for me, that would be great :)
just for protection against satan's attacks, for discernment as to what i'm supposed to say on friday when i have to do a speech, for guidence of the Holy Spirit throughout this week, and for God to work in my life :)
thanks for reading (if you actually read to the end, GOLD STAR FOR YOU!
:D
have a blessed week!
ps. here's one of the two songs that have been running through my head for the past few weeks, in tune with shelby's post about hymns...
I Surrender All
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all,
I surrender all.
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel Thy Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Now I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory to His name!
1 comment:
will definitely pray for you!
your work sounds kind of crazy - but it's great to see this update from you!!!
Keep on hard after HIM! ^_^
God bless you my dear =)
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